#because like they are cis and im not and they got everything that i feel like ill never get and im not allowed to be out to them so thats

[stormyelliotwritez]

HAIIIIII can i request something heheheh if yes TYSMMMM and my request isss deadpool and wolverine x chubby feminine male reader and male reader is like insecure about his body and femininity and wade and logan makes sure to let him know that hes beautiful inside and out hehe i havent really seen much x chubby male reader lately nor at all and i have been feeling down about my weight(again) and i would reallllyyyyy appreciate if u can do this request hhee but if u dont thats fine aswell TYSMMMM ONCE AGAINNNNN AND TAKE CAREEEE💖💖💖💖💖

YEAH I CAN!!!! im assuming you want cis male reader but if you were looking for trans, i can rewrite stuff!

sorry it took so long! depression has been kicking my ass recently

warnings for bullying, body dysmorphia, mean self talk and thoughts revolving around hating how you look, use of feminine pet names for reader

You’re their princess!

poolverine x chubby feminine male reader

You’d been curled up in bed since that morning when you’d swear that those teenagers were laughing about you. You’d been wearing a cute pink hello kitty shirt and the skirt Wade had got you. You’d told him over and over again that it was too short but he’d insisted that you were as cute as a button. Logan had said so too so you wore it but then those teenagers…

Logan and Wade hadn’t gotten home yet so you just laid in bed, covered to your neck. You didn’t wanna look at yourself. You’d thrown the skirt and shirt onto the floor and changed into Logan’s hoodie that was way too big for you. It covered everything and that was your only comfort. You just felt so insecure right now.

You must have drifted off because you jolted awake when the front door slammed. Your boyfriend’s voices drifted up into your ears and you burrowed deeper into the blankets. You didn’t want them to see you like this. You rolled over to face the wall and pretended to be asleep.

Wade poked his head into you guys bedroom and watched you for a moment before beckoning Logan over. You heard his footsteps and wanted to turn back over but your make up was messy and you didn’t wanna look at yourself in the mirror.

“He’s so cute, ain’t he, Logie? I just wanna kiss our baby all over his beautiful body,” Wade said with a sweet smile as he locked his hand in Logans.

Logan grunted a yes and nodded as he leaned against the doorframe. “He asleep?” He grunted.

You tried to stay still and quiet. You just wanted to stay in bed without them trying to make you feel better.

Wade chuckled and let go of Logan’s hand. He walked over to the bed and poked you in the shoulder. You jumped and squealed into your pillow.

“Awwwww, baby’s awake!” He said with a giggle before crawling onto the bed and pulling you into his lap with great difficulty coz you didn’t wanna move.

He nudged your face so he could see you and his face dropped when he did. “Baby, why’s your makeup like that?”

Logan had been watching from the doorframe but when Wade said that, he quickly closed the gap between him and the bed. He climbed on the bed and when he saw your tear streaked face, there was murder in his eyes. “Who hurt you, doll?”

You flinched away from him when he said that.

“Don’t call me that. It’s stupid. I can’t look like a girl! I’m too chubby and it doesn’t look right and I should just bite the bullet and dress like a guy,” you rambled, faster than Wade, as you tried to turn away again.

Wade and Logan immediately jumped into gotta fix this mode. Before you even knew what was going on, Wade had pulled the blanket off you and Logan had taken you off him and settled you on his lap. Wade hopped off the bed and picked up your clothes and put them in the washing basket. He grabbed one of your cute pink hoodies and those hello kitty pj pants you liked so much and laid them out on the end of the bed.

“They’re for when we get ya feeling better. Can’t have you drowning in Logan’s hoodie,” he said with a sad smile as he sat back down.

Logan stroked your hair and grabbed a make up wipe off the bedside table. He gently wiped away your makeup and murmured sweet nothings into your ear. The ickyness started to subside but you still felt it. It was still there in your stomach and the back of your mind, waiting for them to leave so you could cry some more.

“We ain’t gonna make you hash it out, sweetheart. You don’t gotta tell us a thing, okay? But can you let us say somethings?” Wade asked gently as he took ahold of your hands.

Everything in you wanted to say no. They were just taking pity on you. Why would anyone like you? You weren’t skinny and you were too girly. But slowly you nodded.

Wade smiled and tilted his head. “You are the most beautiful man I’ve ever set my eyes on, you know. When we first met, I just knew that I wanted you and when you spoke and your heart shone through, I knew it even more.”

That was a lot more sincere than you were expecting but you still felt icky. They’d leave soon. Tears started to well up in your eyes but before you could wipe them away, Logan did so.

“We love you, pretty boy. We’ll always love you. You’re the most feminine badass I know and you’re not too chubby. You’re just the right amount. You’re perfect cuddle size, sweetheart,” Logan said with the most gentle smile.

You were crying now. How’d they always accept you when it seemed nobody else did? Logan wiped away your tears and after getting a nod from you, Wade gently pulled Log’s hoodie off you. As he picked up your hoodie, Logan leaned down and pressed a kiss to your tummy.

“You’re the most beautiful princess out there, baby. You can be a man and still be pretty and you can be chubby. You’re not too chubby, okay? We’re gonna love you always,” Logan reminded you.

Wade helped you into the hoodie and then into the pants. Logan then helped you lay down and he cradled you against his chest. Wade snuggled up against you, his arms around your waist, tracing hearts on your tummy.

“We love you, baby,” Wade said with a giggle.

The three of you drifted off to sleep and that icky feeling left for a while longer.

[erisolkat]

god i hate everyone

[hana-no-seiiki]

YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO FIGHT ME NOT F*CK ME!

yan! school grass (most handsome/perfect guy)/rival x crossdresser! male! reader x yan! friends - part one

tw/cw: mention of abusive parents (but not reader’s) and yandere themes. also your rival has some repressed sexual urges, he really needs to get laid or some head or something-

just read migi and dali and gahd NOW I WANNA WRITE A WHOLE CROSSDRESS /GENDERBENDER BL NOVEL IM IN HORRID ROTTING

Like I imagine this the best with stoic and/or tsun yans the best. You know those types that want to be perfect but only feels perfect when they’re with reader.

ive always loved these tropes as a kid, from mulan to that one tawog episode where darwin fell in love with fem! gumball and like this was even before i knew i wasnt cis but gahd AAAAAAA

also inspired by @moyazaika ‘s rival work. go read it!!

but anyways have the fic, lowercase intentional for first part to differentiate povs.

it was a dare given by your friend group earlier last weekend. wear the girls uniform and a wig for the entire month. it was easy to get the materials necessary for the most part. your mother had several wigs and was more than happy to style her son in feminine clothing. she was just amazing and supportive about your whims like that.

it didn’t take long for you to realize that no one recognized you in your new look.

the day started like many of your other ones at the school, you’d race your rival as the first one in class and whoever wins gets rights to a smug look on their face until the next thing you guys eventually compete on.

but unlike the crestfallen expression you expected — nay wanted — from that stupid pretty boy, you were greeted by what you could only described as complete bafflement.

“what?” despite having a different reaction from what you imagined, you managed to keep a composed appearance. “cat got your tongue?”

“ah. . .”

and that were the only words he said to you the entire day. nothing else. not a single groan of anger whenever you answered everything correctly, he didn’t even attempt at stopping you mid-way or disagree with you answer simply because he wanted to annoy you.

and so you couldn’t help it, as soon as the bell rang signalling lunch time you swiftly turned around to face him.

“are you alright?”

you inquired. not at all worried about his well-being at the slightest. you hated him with all your being after all and you didn’t make an effort to be soft with your tone either.

“h-huh?” he looked dazed. like his head had been in the clouds and you just yanked him down to ground.

your rival never got distracted.

“you—“ you reached out about to smack his face to keep him in check.

“if you’ll excuse me!” he smacked your hand out of the way, screeched at you, and then left in a hurry to who knows where.

nevermind that was definitely him. that silly brat hated it whenever you touched him. he must have just been having issues at home again or something.

Haoyu was trembling — shaking uncontrollably as his breaths turned more shallow by the second. His heart was pumping blood in places of his body where it shouldn’t have been in the middle of school hours. Sweat lined his entire skin and it didn’t help how the bathroom he rushed into had nothing to keep the temperature down.

Who were you?

You sat at his rival’s seat. That nasty kid that always got in his nerves. No one questioned the boy’s absence and he would have asked the teachers on what had happened if you didn’t suddenly take his breath away.

You were, ethereal. Otherworldy even. When he first saw you he was taken away by the way your hair moved in the wind (if only he knew . . .).

Still, he was far too distracted by [Y/N]’s absence to properly let the feeling simmer.

Then, all that went away when you reeled in his mind back at you again at class. You were incredible, capable, intelligent, and oh so perfect. But unlike that stupid child that usually sat in front of him, he did not feel an ounce of envy at all.

If only who could see your eyes as you spoke; the tone of your voice conveyed so much passion that he wanted to see in those beautiful (e/c) orbs.

And his prayers were granted by none other than the goddess that is you,

“Are you alright?”

Your voice? Oh your voice! Haoyu’s heard it already of course, but each new time you spoke it was like a whole new melody, a new piece that immediately turned into his favorite.

His mind was too fried with these thoughts, thoughts that his parents would no doubt beat out of him if they found out.

His feels the parts down there suddenly move. He wasn’t completely unfamiliar with the phenomenon. He wasn’t without his hormones after all. But this was the first time it ever reacted that way so strongly, like if he didn’t give it attention himself it’d explode.

“Mmph…”

And for the time in his entire life, Haoyu does something he knew his parents would definitely be disappointed if not livid about. A hand on his mouth, and another in his school uniform’s pants.

lunch time.

you usually spent those studying or preparing for the next class as hanging out with your friends always ended with you being too distracted to do schoolwork but today you had to show up with ‘proof’ that you went through with their dare.

“yiran ? yichen ?”

no response.

you sighed. as usual, the twins were late. what did you expect? those two would be caught dead before they could be early much less found in the library.

and so you spent the entire time reading,

unaware of the crowd that formed around you while you were busy studying.

[henrioo]

°•*⁀➷ MINE TO SHARE: SHANKS (+???)

꒰ SYNOPSIS ꒱ : "You were Shanks's the moment he laid his eyes on you. But sometimes he needs to remind you that you being his means he can do whatever he wants with you."

꒰ WARNINGS ꒱ : AMAB! READER, CIS MALE! READER, MALE READER! SMUT! MLM, HOMO SEX (I laugh at this) GAY SEX (laugh again), DUB-CON, NON-CONSENSUAL EXHIBITIONISM (Shanks shows the reader sexy photos without him knowing, the reader is watched during sex without being asked) in this story the reader LIKES all the things that are did with him, even the exhibitionism, if you have any trauma or trigger with that don't read. ASSHOLE BOSS (NOT SHANKS) just a mention of a former idiotic boss, hidden romantic relationships, unlabeled relationship, relationship between boss and employee

꒰ CONTAINS ꒱ : Shanks is mean and soft at the same time but probably more mean, Benn and all of Shanks' friends know you two are fucking, you might want to fuck his friends too, office sex, risk of getting caught, getting caught, makeshift handcuffs and a lot of dirty talk.

꒰ WC ꒱ : 2,3k

꒰ NOTES ꒱ : lol o only notice how much warnings I always put, I just want to put everything that can make someone uncomfortable because I hate read a fic when they don't put warning in something and that's get me triggered. Okay so, PLEASE IF YOU ARE A WOMEN DON'T REALLY READ THIS, IT'S NOT ONLY INTERACT DON'T READ, IF I SEE ANY FEM BLOG IN THIS STORY I GONNA BLOCK YOU AND IM SERIOUS

You didn't remember exactly how you got there. Sitting on your boss's lap with his dick so deep in your ass you could feel it reaching your throat. Shanks' hands grabbed your ass hard, squeezing and slapping so hard that made you jump in fright. He used all his strength and the advantage of his size to guide you bouncing on his huge cock, your legs were already wobbly and shaking so all you could do was accept him using you like a toy and fucking you nonstop.

Every time Shanks fucked you he had a different rhythm, which was always decided by his mood that day. Today you weren't sure what the redhead's mood was, but he fucked you with deep and strong thrusts that made you roll your eyes and tremble with each blow, he hit your prostate so accurately and filled your insides so perfectly that you genuinely wondered how you was able to cumming with other partners before Shanks. It seemed impossible for someone to be able to give you pleasure like him.

Of course you were also a mess, thanks to that, you had your head thrown back moaning his name or resting on his shoulder or forehead, moaning breathlessly and begging softly for more. Your hands were dug into his shoulder, scratching so hard that even without big nails you knew there would be marks left for a few days, your head was already hurting and there was a little drool running down the corner of your lips... You looked pathetic, but in the end you liked being humiliated and Shanks liked humiliating you, it was the perfect combination.

You had only entered Shanks' office to give him some reports for the week, he was in his chair with his back to the door facing the huge glass wall that gave him a view of the entire city, advantages of being extremely rich and being able to work on the highest floor of one of the tallest buildings in the city. He was strangely silent and all he asked of you was to come over and deliver the reports... Of course, most of his visits to Shanks' office didn't just end with a conversation between boss and employee.

The truth is that your relationship with the redhead has always been… complicated. It all started when you saw him in person for the first time at a meeting between several city executives disguised as a gala party, at that time you were just an apprentice following your boss and his main secretary like a scared puppy. Your boss was terrible and liked to torture all his employees with the excuse of being an iron training that only the best went through, but he hid this from the spotlight and loved to brag as a boss that no job would leave, taking pride in his loyalty of each of its employees.

Shanks, as always, was a brat at these parties, his social reputation was one of the worst but everyone pretended not to know given how incredible his business empire was, even though he was known for scandals and even visits to countless police stations, the redhead was treated like an angel by everyone the other businessmen who pretended not to know anything about his antics. For some reason you caught his attention, throughout the party where you basically served as a personal waiter for your boss, you felt Shanks staring at you with a predatory gaze ready to grab his prey and run away.

You were still very insecure at that time, you had just left college and your career wasn't going exactly as you planned, maybe that's why you avoided his gaze so much at the beginning. When your boss and Shanks finally spoke, the redhead made no attempt to hide that he was paying attention solely to you and not the ugly old man who was desperate for a business deal. This obviously infuriated his boss who spilled wine on his clothes claiming to have been an oversight. When you kindly excused yourself to go to the bathroom to resolve the situation your boss's secretary simply whispered that you didn't need to go back to the party, when you looked at him confused he just rolled his eyes and said gruffly “you're out”.

This made you swallow deeply and run to the bathroom, you already had a terrible job even if it was in a renowned place and now you had been fired for attracting the attention of a billionaire who you never even dreamed of being in the same room with?! All you could do was rub your wine-stained shirt as you cried and cursed to the tenth generation of your stupid boss and anyone who worked for him. While you were lost in your own world you were unable to notice Shanks entering the bathroom and looking at you with concern.

That night many things happened, you were fired, humiliated, you received a job offer from Shanks who had one of the most successful industries in the country and you also received a small hope that your professional future could work out. The months went by and at some point you and Shanks were already in this arrangement, you weren't even close to being boyfriends, even though he had never had another partner and even though he had never forbidden you from having one, he hated seeing you with anyone else other than him. Your friends joked that Shanks was your sugar daddy since he always gave you money and gifts, but since he never asked for anything in return, not even sex, it didn't seem like the label for you either.

You were something, besides of course friends, but you weren't very determined to find out. You were afraid of falling in love only to find out that Shanks only saw you as a fuck buddy or worse, finding out that Shanks was in love and you only saw him as a fuck buddy! You had sleepless nights thinking about it but little by little you simply gave up making everything difficult. You loved fucking Shanks and Shanks loved fucking you, there was no reason to try to put feelings in or out of this arrangement, as long as it worked for both of you then it was perfect.

Shanks continued fucking you while you faced the office door with your head resting on his shoulder, you lowered your claws to his arm and continued holding him as if you were going to die without his support. He whispered praises and curses every time you leaned into his lap and made his cock all the way inside you, your own cock was twitching on your stomach, your pants were thrown somewhere and your white shirt was open so at least you wouldn't get your clothes dirty. You needed to come so badly, but Shanks' slow pace didn't give you enough stimulation, if he just let you masturbate you could have gotten there, but he liked torturing you.

“Shanks! Please! I! Oh! Shit!" You moaned choppy, disjointed words as you tried to increase your speed, but Shanks' strong hands kept you right where he wanted you.

“Huh? I didn't hear you boy, say it again” He said breathlessly and gave a light bite to your exposed neck “Say how you want my dick to make you see stars, say how you want to be my good boy and cum so much you'll get dirty both of us, tell me” the redhead’s dirty talk always made your belly twitch and your dick leak more, you were losing control and he was loving taking advantage of it.

“Oh! Shanks! Please! I need… Fuck! Faster!" You moaned louder as you felt him slowly increasing his speed, you were ready to beg again when you heard some knocks on the door and Shanks' electronic warning ringing, alerting you that there was someone at the door wanting a meeting with him. “S-Shanks! Stop! There is somebody!"

You tried to get off of him and give him a few pats so he would get the hint and at least he would give you the chance to hide in the bathroom instead of getting caught by someone while fucking your boss. But Shanks didn't seem to care, he quickly turned the chair, turning towards the door and leaving you facing the glass wall, and instead of slowing down or even letting you go, he simply gave your ass a hard slap as he started thrusting into you like the world was ending. He was moving in and out so fast that you became unable to speak, only letting out desperate screams and moans at the sudden increase in stimulation.

“Shit… Don’t squeeze me so much boy… Come in! Come in quickly Benn, I'm kinda busy” He shouted the last part and you tried again to fight Shanks, only to receive an annoyed growl from him as he took off his own tie and used it to tie your wrists behind your back in a clumsy and quick way, but still firm enough for you to be unable to escape. “Stop running away you brat! You came here to get fucked in my office and now you don’t want anyone to see you?” He smiled mischievously when he saw your embarrassed face and the tears of humiliation that were about to fall.

"Stop!" You sniffled at him and hid your face in his neck, you heard the door opening and you knew that soon Benn, the vice CEO and someone who had as much power as Shanks, would be able to see you bouncing on the redhead's dick like a real whore.

"To stop? But I feel you clenching around my cock…” he chuckled at you and stroked your back gently “You're acting like you hate this… But I see how you look at my men, you perverted boy, I'm sure you'd love it getting fucked by all of us at the same time, right? After all, all that’s going on in that stupid little head of yours is being filled with cock in all your holes, right?” He laughed teasingly and when you just whimpered without responding he finally seemed to get angry, so he grabbed your penis tightly, squeezing its sensitive head. “I asked a fucking question.”

You just screamed, feeling the ecstasy overwhelm you to the point where your vision went black and you felt your whole body go limp, you had just cum in Shanks' hand just from his dirty words and tight grip on his sensitive and neglected dick. You fell against him crying and panting, your dick trembled as it continued to leak some more cum, Shanks simply laughed and stopped fucking you, letting you calm down slowly.

“Did you see that Benn? He simply came when I accused him of wanting to be fucked by all of us” Shanks laughed at that as if it were a joke and you almost forgot that the other man had entered the room, but now you could smell his cigarette and his malicious laugh.

“S-Shanks…” you begged whimpering as you tried to hide against his body, you had no idea what you were asking for, but it was clear that Shanks always knew you and your body much better than you knew yourself.

“Hmmm… I would even let it go this time, but you hid this beautiful spectacle of you cumming, didn’t you feel sorry for Benn? He came here and missed the entire show…” he said a little more gently as he rubbed his nose against your hair “Now I can’t just let you go and leave my friend empty handed… Besides, you didn’t even make me cum… No, No, you were really a bad boy…”

You no longer had the strength to argue or fight against the redhead, he quickly grabbed you and turned you around to face Benn. Now you were a complete and pathetic exposure, Shanks' cock was still thrusting deep into you, your own cock was a little soft, already extremely tired after having an intense orgasm, your abdomen was dirty with your cum and your entire body was dripping with sweat. You had a tired and cloudy look, a face that was drunk but kept begging for more and more.

Shanks smiled and grabbed your face with his hand, squeezing your cheek as he whispered in your ear “Open that mouth wide and stick your tongue out my boy… Give them a good look” you did as he said as he was squeezing her cheeks and forcing your mouth open. You hadn't understood what he was planning, your head too tired and confused to try and guess the man's plans.

It was only when you heard the click and flash of your cell phone that you realized, Benn was in front of you with his own cell phone and had just taken a picture of you practically naked being fucked on your boss's lap. The damage and scandals that a photo like that could cause made you feel sick, but luckily Benn's mischievous smile and his hard penis over his dress pants indicated that his goal wasn't to destroy your life.

“How was it?” Shanks asked the gray-haired man playfully.

“Perfect, you weren't lying when you said that his face when he cum was perfect… Huh, Hongo is going to love this…” He quickly placed his cell phone on Shanks' desk and approached you.

“Now… My brat” Shanks kissed your cheek and smiled against you making your whole body shiver “Why don’t I show you that you belong to me completely to the point where I can do whatever I want with you?” He offered with a smile, “And by ‘whatever you want’ I obviously mean sharing… After all, you’re a good pet and you’re not going to let Benn go so hard, are you?”

You didn't need to answer for the two older men to start smiling, everyone knew you never refused an order from Shanks.

[larsthefishoil]

As I'm actively reflecting on the new hbomberguy video, but more specifically James Somerton, certain things are clicking into place with resounding clarity.

I've watched Somerton's videos for years. At first I thought he was kinda overly dramatic, and had outdated stances on how little lgbtq+ was seen in modern day. He always seemed to talk like we are still living in the danger of the 80s with staight/cis people's apathy and hatred. In truth the phobias have just shifted in how they present and things have genuinely improved in a sense.

But the thing that is actually getting to me rn is the misogyny thing. I think he actually injected really shitty thoughts into my brain that I absorbed like a fucking kitchen sponge. He's protectiveness over queer people but specifically gay men from "prevented white women" actually got to me. For over a year, I was walking around occasionally thinking about how "women are sneaking BL manga into their bedrooms and grotesquely drooling."- im not citing someone theres quoteation marks cause its a dumb thought. But i thought this because that's how bad Somerton made it seem.

But the thing that got me out of that head space was this video by talistheintrovert.

https://youtube.com/@talistheintrovert?si=vmpEa_TPP2UE9eQk - here's the link to her homepage on YouTube.

https://youtu.be/08pCrSBw5EY?si=bECaT_xC16IfN5TI - vid about Good Omens

https://youtu.be/zzSlRZhS_qY?si=unQzSbCQUaTqhSbv - Heartstopper vs. Only Friends

sorry for the ugly link I'm on mobile.

I forget their pronouns so I'm using they/them but I might be wrong. I watched a lot of their videos all at once, so a lot of their ideas interlinked between videos to connect points. But they frequently talked about how straight and queer people interact with queer media and the complexities that unfold. Their underlying message was always that an individual's sexuality doesn't matter when interacting with media when it comes to gatekeeping who gets to appreciate queer content. Still most people consuming are queer people, but straight cis people also benefit and that's okay, it's great even.

Talistheintrovert shooed away icky feelings of straight women fetishizing queer men, which was a fear I got from James Somerton!

Idk this is a long post, but hbomberguy's ending soliloquy about trying to find happiness kinda reminds me of the many countless queer YouTube channels- big and small. Most of us aren't clawing for the position of top dog and like Somerton and seem a lot happier dispit of everything going on nowadays.

Anyways, stay safe, be accepting, and cite your sources or else hbomberguy will have to crawl out of whatever hole he hides in for the better part of each year and make a five hour long video about you :/

[hayleymarriedjakurai]

since you don't personally headcanon J as trans, i wanted to know what you think J's relationship with being a cis woman is like, if you have any thoughts? given her abject denial of being associated with just about any feminine traits, and instead choosing to associate with traits more typically seen as masculine, why might she (in your opinion) still choose to express a female gender? just food for thought, trying to provoke some analysis. i am a cis person writing this too, so maybe i don't understand it all too well either... haha

ok this is a deep one so im gonna preface this with reminding you that im headcanoning. everything i say is a headcanon. im not confirming nor denying anything! with that, i have some thoughts on this! so her mom definitely ruined this for her. the internalized misogyny is because of her mother forcing her to present as overly feminine/in her image since early childhood. i feel like she wouldn't be so strongly against more traditionally feminine things if she wasn't forced so heavily/her mother was a better person. But how J was treated by her/forced to be made so uncomfortable with how she presents outwardly for the majority of her life, it left a deep rooted hatred for anything of that nature. This is reflected in the asks where dev describes things she like as "whatever makes her feel cool" or "cool things". What is the definition of cool? To J, it's anything not stereotypically seen as girly. She doesn't understand that it's okay to be "girly" or like things that fall in this category. She would probably beat herself up about liking anything that counts as such. For example, hide that she potentially thinks something like baking is fun, or that a fashion-genre video game was fun to play. She is so so so so in deep hatred of her past self and what her mother treated her like, she sees anything like that as bad/weak/awful because that's how she felt she was back then. I think there could be an arc where she like...slowly comes to accept that she doesn't have to force herself to be this person that is cool and can only like cool things, that interests don't have genders, and that she can look however she wants. Maybe she becomes a bit more confident and feels that she doesn't have to hide behind the hoodie as much. I won't say she'll dress more femme, but if she ever got to that point and wanted to experiment with the style again good for her- but she can wear whatever the hell she wants. once she stops associating femininity with her mom, i think she'll grow a lot as a person and be more open about liking/being interested in things that she would criticize before for being too girly.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hi, im an 18 year old pre-transition trans guy and ive grown up in an incredibly repressive fundie household which has caused me to really struggle both socially and with my sexual development. ive been homeschooled nearly my whole life and am currently getting everything set up to enroll for college this fall, this will be my first time living away from my abusive household and im very nervous about it..

anyhow, im in a really really weird situation right now. because of my shelteredness ive always been extremely isolated irl, ive never had a consensual romantic or sexual experience irl and all of my friends are online friends. well, one of my online friends (a cis guy who i knew from an online forum) and i started fooling around a bit, flirting and then eventually very explicit conversations, trading nudes and sexual video calls. we were extremely emotionally close and the relationship was pseudo-romantic but we both agreed we didn't want to do online dating after both of us having a bad experience with it previously.

this whole situation allowed me to experiment sexually more than i ever have, and i really felt more sexually confident than i ever have.

when we met, he told me he was freshly 19. and for the whole relationship i was under that impression, he didn't give me any reason to doubt it. but two days ago he couldn't handle lying anymore and revealed that he was 15. needless to say that was an incredible shock and i dealt with it as responsibly as i think i can.

the reason i'm coming to you about this is because i feel really weird about the whole thing, i dont blame myself for believing him and im not mad at him because i understand what lead him to those choices, but now i feel really awkward about all of the good things i got out of the situation before the reveal.. this was my first time ever really doing "real" sexual stuff with someone (beyond just texting i mean, i had never exchanged nudes or done vidoe calls like that before) everything sexual i encounter now makes me feel awkward because of all of this, its really weird and uncomfortable and i don't know what to do :(

im not sure what im hoping to get out of telling you this but i can't really talk about this to anyone else i feel like, so i guess i just wanted to get it off my chest

(if anyone responds to this accusing me of taking advantage of him or not handling the situation correctly, firstly you have basically no context and secondly you don't know what i did to take care of the situation. let me and my close friends be the ones to judge how i handled it, this is an extremely complicated situation for me to be in and you being judgmental does nothing positive for it.)

hi anon,

oofah doofah, what a sucky situation.

I totally understand feeling grossed out by the reveal; those feelings are real and deserve recognition. it's not nice to be lied to, especially when the truth casts all of your previous experiences in a totally different light - and a much scarier one, since you could very well have been breaking the law by exchanging nudes with a 15 year old, depending on where you live! this person could have gotten you in huge trouble by lying, which makes this whole situation that much worse.

having said that, you don't need to feel good about having had a good time and having gotten some positive experiences out of this dynamic. you were enjoying a relationship that you had every reason to believe was above board and it did great things for your sexual confidence! that's not retroactively untrue just because you were being misled; all of the good things you felt are still real.

think of it this way: when a couple breaks up there's often a urge to feel that they've been wasting their time together, that all of the energy and devotion they brought to their relationship was ultimately a waste because they didn't die together in bed holding hands at the tender age of 107. but that isn't true! no relationship is a waste of time, and even when things don't work out, that doesn't mean the good things didn't count. every time those people made each other laugh, everything they encouraged each other to try, every new thing they experienced together, every time they had sex, every meal they shared - all of these are real and matter and helped shape them for the better, even if they ended up parting ways as romantic partners.

the same is true for you. take your time to sit with your hurt at this loss and betrayal of your trust, but don't throw the good out with the bad. this wasn't ultimately a good relationship for you, but that doesn't mean it brought nothing of value into your life, and you can carry what you learned about yourself forward with you as you seek more appropriate partners :)

[dollgxtz]

Hello!! Recently I've been reading some of your fics as it passes my timeline and I just finished reading "Getting Closer" and I need to scream it out!! I apologize in advance because this will most likely be a wall of text, please answer however you please or not at all if you don't want to!

First, I love LOVE LOVE how you write Sylus' dialogues!!! I can imagine his voice in every single line and it's just driving me crazy. I really love how you flawlessly switch between the two petnames he so endearingly calls us in game, and I just can't get enough of it since I really love both of his petnames to us, it always gets me weak.

Now I'll actually delve into the story! I absolutely love the Tara tidbit at the beginning of the story, I really feel like the whole thing is definitely something that Tara would do, with how bold she is greeting us away since the intro of the actual in game main story. I could definitely see her snatching our phone with no harm knowing full well it's from our boyfriend, of course reeling back and apologizing if she feels she went too far. The 'what if' explanation about dating Onychinus leader etc etc was really funny, it gives me the same goofiness of his bond episode, just the right amount of goofiness!

I'm lowkey curious on what could've been talked about between Tara and Sylus in that small timeframe, and that "No way you could tell her that its some kind of sex game you both indulge in right???" Got me laughing so hard!!

Your description on the scenes, the settings, the feelings, the buildups and everything else I don't know how to put words into were all really good and very immersive for me! I could imagine every single scene! I really love the phone calls banter, it exudes enough feistiness that he answers with absolute dominance. I'm in love.

I really love the clever attempts of not being purely helpless like the mirror and calling back tricks. It really keeps me on my toes! The scene on the subway is just- aaaah! It's so good! I love the moment our eyes met, the frozen moment when we realize he's right behind us, the little play and the claim of being his!

I love the fact you made him not chase after us immediately. I also love how you specifically describe about his long strides, because damn does the guy is a giant and has legs for days. I especially love the banter on the alley and the moment he almost grabbed our hair! He definitely could reach out further and grab our hair. He's just being merciful. I love it.

The tension right after we won, the banter, up until the surprise! You've written it so amazingly I could imagine it in cinematic shots and it's wonderful!! Feels truly like straight out of a thriller movie.

And hello??? "None of those are safe words sweetie" PLEASE I'M CRYING I LOVE HIM YOUR HONOR. AND I LOVE THE WAY YOU WROTE HIM!! He's freaky but he knows the limits! I wonder what kind of safe word was established. Also the part he mocks our plead?? Holy shit I never knew I needed that in my life but I can't live without it now. It's so condescending in the most delicious way.

The stark contrast, the momentary break, the softness that he truly loves us that leaks out when he asks for our consent about are we doing okay or not, GOT ME ON MY KNEES. ASKING CONSENT IS ALSO HOT YOUR HONOR!!! Also the smooth transition back into that cold hearted smug personality? SWOONED. WHIPPED. IN LOVE.

The authoritative command of asking us to calm down, not giving what we want until we submit obediently? Delicious. De-li-ci-o-us! Thank you I am feasting.

And s i g h h h don't get me started with how much care and gentleness he gives after the whole thing is finished. I feel truly loved. The ending is truly beautiful and it's an astounding piece overall!!! Okay thank you for coming to my tedtalk, TLDR: thank you for girl dinner.

AHHH ANON IM SO HAPPY YOU LIKED IT!!

I just noticed a lack of predator x prey fics for Sylus and wanted to contribute 😌.

I MEAN COME ON HE LITERALLY SAYS HE LIKES WHEN HIS PREY STRUGGLES 😩

Anywayssss, while writing I definitely had lots of “Would he say this?” moments cause I wanted to get his way of speaking down right. I was honestly so nervous to include Tara because we don’t know a whole lot about her besides her being bubbly but I’m happy to know that you liked it!!

I also wanted the buildup and tension there. I wanted readers to feel every emotion as if they themselves were actually being chased. Sylus just inspires me to write such things what can I say 😌

Tysm for for reading and I hope you stick around for more!!

[sqrkyclean]

Hiiiiiiiii i love miller so much she can do it she can transition SHE CAN BE SYLVIE!!! (I know that's just the name she got called in that one forcefem pic but. as a trans gal I can't stop relating so hard to the miller gender agonies. like. "Why do i want him to be happy" well SHE will be happy!! You will be happy!!! AAAAAA!!!

Thank you for what you create. It's beautiful and powerful.

im so glad other people get it.... ive been through every step of a really intense gender journey. im cafab intersex and was So Convinced because of my secondary sex characteristics coming in more on the Masculine side that i was supposed to be a boy, that if i could figure out how to be a boy right that id feel happy. then i got older and started looking more physically feminine and veered hard in the opposite direction, that i needed to be a girl in the right way and id be happy. no matter which way i tried to present myself, it wasn't right. people made me feel like my body is wrong, that my interests are wrong, that everything about me is fundamentally wrong, and if i just made myself align correctly that i'd be good enough.

i started testosterone a few months ago, and was on it for about 3 months before i ran out, and i don't have the insurance to keep going on it anymore. but my body already almost feels like mine, for the very first time.

theres been a long, agonizing process of realizing that i don't have to cut the edges off of what I am. i don't have to stifle myself, i don't have to fit the glass slipper. i can be me, i can grow in ways that cis people dont like or understand, i can exist in contradictory ways, and i dont have to pretend to be anything other than what i am, even if i change what that means every day.

[pillarsalt]

hi Im the same ex transmasc anon who sent you that aask about rhe tumblr ban thing, I did a lot of reading without forcing myself away this time. (I used to look at radblr sometimes bc I got curious, but when it started making too much sense i would make myself stop reading and tell myself I was being manipulated and try to forget about it..looking back that probably wasnt normal haha,)

I have mixed feelings tho. I don’t regret looking closer, the amount of sexism in the trans community was horrible. I think even radfems don’t understand how bad it was because it was all subtle styff. But seeing it constantly irl and online was terrible for me as a female. It gave me so much internalized misogyny, it made me hate myself and I felt worthless and stupid! and whiny! and annoying! all the time!! unless I was able to be perceived as a man. I felt like I had to be a man to have any respect in the community. I remember being so amazed to see abortion be covered by trans people I followed in even a reblog because it was the first time I saw people in the community talk about female issues at all. Even then it was covered with disclaimers and terfs DNI banners. male,opinions were always prioritized.

I thought this was dysphoria and a sign I was really a man. then I started reading radfem things and its like that feeling instantly lifted. I felt respected, listened to, even though I wasn’t speaking. It was also like all this stuff I’d internalized from being female, all the trauma around sex based oppression, was actually being addressed. in trans circles you get called a terf for acknowledging females face any kind of oppression (they acknowledge sex when it’s to talk about how hard male loneliness is on young trans women, and how the incel to trans woman pipeline happens, though…)

but the reason I have mixed feelings is bc I now feel….dumb? And afraid. And angry. I spend well over a decade being part of this community, half my friends are in the community, I’ve been trans since I was 9. My typings not the best… dyslexia sucks lol. But I like to think I’m smart. Now I don’t know,

And it makes me think totally different of these people I saw as progressive cis male allies, who were so loud about trans rights and hating JKR and terfs. Now they just feel like the same flavor of anti-feminist man I hate.

And the community is so huge and it’s so widely accepted and I don’t know how to deal!

But I am happy to be a woman now. In a healthy way I haven’t been for a long time. thats all that matters.

I'm sorry for everything you were put through. Many girls and women have been sucked into this thinking it will provide a solution for their distress at the social ramifications of the body they're born in, only for more people, namely men, to take advantage of their distress and gain power over them. As you mentioned, even "cis" men get in on the action when they justify intimidating and threatening women with violence in response to perceived transphobia. It's a terrible situation to be in. Made worse when you can't openly talk about with people you're close to for fear of alienating them.

I think you should give yourself more credit. You ARE smart. You questioned what you were told was never allowed to be questioned and realized you were being misled. And what you said about trying to make yourself forget the realizations you've had, that is normal. It's a difficult and scary thing to hold opinions that conflict with those of the majority of your peers. I think it's like the climax of cognitive dissonance -- when what you know is true clashes so hard against what you want to believe, you find it impossible to justify anymore, so you just resort to pretending you never learned the information in the first place. Been there.

I'm just being a stereotype now, but there's a classic Dworkin quote for this:

"Many women, I think, resist feminism because it is an agony to be fully conscious of the brutal misogyny which permeates culture, society, and all personal relationships."

Anyway my point is, don't beat yourself up. I'm really happy to read that you're accepting your womanhood, it's a hard journey but it's worth it to have a good relationship with yourself. And in my experience (at the sage and wisened age of 25) that it gets easier as you get older. You work through mistakes, and that prepares you to handle the next mistake better. You're right, your health and happiness is all that matters, keep striving for that and it will steer you right.

I wanted to give you some reading recommendations, you mentioned you have dyslexia but I believe these two are available in audiobook form if that's up your alley:

Delusions of Gender: How Our Minds, Society, and Neurosexism Create Difference by Cordelia Fine

Invisible Women: Exposing Data Bias in a World Designed for Men by Caroline Criado Perez

There are tons more great books on feminism but these two are my go-tos for hard facts on gender, socialization, and the systematic discrimination against women worldwide through biases that are built into society.

Well uh; TLDR thanks for gracing my inbox, anon :) Hope you keep well.

[cipherdragon]

yeah so i got some isat theories

take note i’m only on arc three + i don’t plan to spoil anything for myself SO DONT TELL ME IF IM RIGHT OR WRONG PLEASE <3

i did accidentally check the isat tag on both here and ao3 so i got possible spoilers which influence the headcanons but whatever

if none of this is right feel free to make this an au bahahha

anyway this went from theories to just me rambling lmao

i’m sorry

loop and the king are probably a part of siffrin

“refer to me with the royal we” loop uses they them and jokingly(?) says to use “we”

king literally has sifs hair bruhhhh

“do you remember?” all three are not from vaugarde

the island north of vaugarde people don’t remember its existence. sif cannot recall where he’s from. HMMM…

reoccurring books sif cannot read. refer to island north of vaungard theory

sif uses he they and this may be a stretch but king uses he/him and loop uses they/them so sif took the pronouns in the divorce (not a literal divorce)

so i’m guessing siffrin, once you basically wear the poor guy down from looping 100+ times because you’re trying to make everyone happy, just GIVES UP and goes “yeah let’s freeze my friends in time THATS GONNA MAKE THEM HAPPY FOREEEEVER :D” but he’s too far gone to realize “wait wait wait no no that’s WRONG” (get this man some therapy istg)

also i think sif is aroace or at LEAST just ace. “yeahh i don’t like the idea of doing things with people in that way” in regards of mira saying she doesn’t want to fuck people during her quest-to-learn-what-is-upsetting-the-poor-girl

mirabell is cisgender aromantic asexual. one of the younger ones. doesn’t really give off any exact age but def 20smthn. they all are except for dile and bonbon.

isabeau is gay transgender (he says he “changed” and he doesn’t use his old name. mood lol) (i swear changing is just hrt but better) - prolly mid 20s

odile just doesn’t care what she identifies as (at least this is what it feels like) but i’m pretty sure she’s cis. she’s deffo in her fourties. or late thirties. gonna get wacked in the face with her book for sure.

bonnie is nonbinary (i don’t got much for the kid) prob 11 or 12

siffrin. oh siffrin. he’s a guy, but he could be nonbinary. he’s def ace to me, but in the “haha i make funny sex jokes while ace” way. maybe he feels romantic feelings. maybe he doesn’t. he doesn’t have time to figure that out. it would be funny if sif was 18 but nah sif’s likely 21-23 (idk the legal age for the world of isat. i GUESS it’s 20? or 21) (sif is an adult, that much is obvious.)

loop? loop doesn’t care. they’re whatever you think they are. they’ll laugh if they think your guess is funny, but honestly they just don’t care. “loop is gay” “loop’s a lesbian” “loops a genderqueer asshole who siffrin REALLY wants to punch in the face” loop’s everything and nothing woooo magic star glitter everywhere (sorry) (loop has no age cuz they’re a star)

sif’s not attracted to isa. isa is attracted to sif. poor siffrin hates how he can’t reciprocate isa’s feelings. he’s worried he’ll upset isa by telling him he doesn’t see isabeau that way. he keeps looping over and over to try to get isa to say he loves sif, sif tries to get the courage to say it back, despite it not being true.

and odile slowly figures out sif’s secret about the loops each loop, but they loop back before she can bring it up to sif.

aight i think that’s everything. i got over 30 hours in this game on my switch and i think some of that is a weird glitch because surely i haven’t been playing that much??? i think it managed to keep adding numbers even when my switch was off. hmmmm.

[scourgefrontiers]

yall ready for a gender journey post..

so yall could probably guess i grew up a cis girl. i didnt start questioning my gender until high school after i broke up with my first boyfriend which kind of freed me up to explore my identity as my own person for the first time. around age like 16 was when i first started identifying as trans, and at the time that meant a binary trans guy

after a couple years of getting comfortable exploring my gender i decided hey maybe im actually not a binary trans guy but instead nonbinary. still transmasc and guy leaning but not quite all the way anymore. this became a trend for the next loooong while, getting closer to the androgynous part of the spectrum as time went on

then in recent years (maybe about 5 years ago ish) i started to lean more towards femininity. this is significant for me because growing up i was always opposed to it--i hated wearing dresses, i hated putting on makeup, anything "girly" appalled me and i didnt know why. i ended up thinking its because i WASNT a girl, and thats why i was so uncomfortable with everything to do with being a girl. i rejected it so hard because it just wasnt me.

after living with eden for a while i got even more comfortable exploring the feminine part of myself. i started wearing dresses and skirts and actually ENJOYED it; i started painting my nails and wearing earrings again; i even grew my hair out to my shoulderblades (yeah thats where its at now LOL). ive even started using she/her alongside they/them. and im actually enjoying these things??? it feels like after all these years im finally able to reclaim them because i feel like im finally able to be comfortable with my gender--how my gender feels to ME, not to everyone else.

that was the problem when i was growing up--i was trapped in everyone else's perception of my gender and what it "should" be. i was trapped into a box that was made by everyone else's idea of what i SHOULD look like, what i SHOULD wear, what i SHOULD act like, etc. and it took me until age 26 to fully realize that my gender is what i want it to be, not what everyone else wants.

i dont have to be a guy to want facial hair and a flat chest and a low voice. loving pink and dresses and cute things and makeup and jewelry doesnt inherently mean im a girl. pronouns, features, clothes, even names dont inherently mean youre one gender or another. your gender is defined by you and only you and nobody should be able to put you into a box and define your gender for you.

..having said all this, im starting to explore my gender further, and im slowly coming to the POSSIBLE conclusion that i might come back around to being cis (albeit gnc). nothing would really change about me except the label tbh. if i do end up coming to that conclusion i will be very bummed about leaving the trans community, but i wont feel any less attached to it, as ive spent literally half my life as part of it. i understand what its like to be trans and to love myself as my most authentic self, and thats why im considering this possiblity!

identifying as a lesbian kind of pushed me in this direction as well--i cant remember the last time i felt truly comfortable and happy with a label regarding my orientation.. like ya damn. maybe i am a girl who likes girls LOL. it just feels right and natural for me personally??? its crazy. i love women. if youre a woman i love you no matter the flavor. i love my wife more than all of you though sorry <3

but god please dont take this as me being like "oh trans people just need to get comfortable with their gender and theyll realize theyre cis" that is a bullshit take and i am not saying that. this is strictly my own experience and journey! i am 100% not speaking for every trans person and you shouldnt either.

but ya. dan cis era???? we'll see. no official statement just yet but i just wanted to let yall know where im at in my ~gender journey~. until i confirm anything please still view me as a nonbinary girlthing! <3

[a-queer-sub-baby-2]

If I hadn't already quit sex work, I would definitely have after this week.

CW after the cut for discussions of sex work, grooming, pedophilia, the current situation in the US (and worldwide because of fucking course).

I'm terrified to post this, and if anyone is an ass, I'm blocking you.

While my tumblr demographics have cis men as the minority, that isn't true of my Twitter and OF.

And while I currently wasn't making content for men, that isn't how it started.

I started posting nude/lewd content online almost 13 years ago. To make a very long and traumatizing story short, I was 12 when I was convinced to start doing Panties of the Day on Instagram. (I'll be honest, I was lying about my age at the time. but also, the 35+ year-old men I was interacting with should definitely have been able to tell the difference between a 12-year-old and a 19-year-old).

(To be clear, the predecessor to this blog was created when I was 19)

A 47-year-old man taught me how to masturbate while I took a bath when I was 12. I didn't enjoy it, and this started my habit of lying to old men (especially to those who made me call them Master), about my pleasure and what my body likes.

I'm not 100% sure that I don't just dissociate when I feel any pleasure with masturbation. I previously just assumed it to be overstimulation, but I just genuinely cannot function if I enjoy what I am doing. Everything has to be a performance, and my comfort and pleasure comes secondary.

I have been using my body for other people's pleasure for half my life, but no one has ever wanted to have sex with me BEFORE seeing me naked in a controlled manner.

I didn't take money for it until I was 18, and it was lucrative until I hit size 12-14, and then got even worse once Covid started. But I kept going because that's all I've known for over a decade.

I am sick of all of it. I am horrified by how this has destroyed any relationship I have with my body. I genuinely struggle to make friends with people who haven't made it clear that they want to fuck me. I struggle to feel valued in any way beyond the sexual pleasure I can bring someone. I'm sick of every nsfw interaction feeling like an obligation because it was a chance to make money.

I hate how vulnerable and scared subspace makes me. I'm always alone, and it's almost always for the benefit of someone who doesn't want or deserve my submission.

I have never talked about any of this because people would lose their minds if you even mentioned minors in kink/nsfw spaces, let alone being one of said minors.

I have so much experience with the concept of people owning my body, and with everything going on, I don't want to give anyone more ammunition. I don't even know what I want to say other than I am not putting more content out to the public after what's been happening.

My place of residence feels like it is racing Trump to strip my rights (health care, reproductive, transgender healthcare and legal rights), and I cannot fathom continuing to provide my body for free, regardless of who the majority of my followers are.

I know this post could ruin me. I know. But im so sick of being scared about everything.

[tlouconfidential]

people have got to stop crying about "not treating ellie/abby like the WOMEN they are!!"- do you all realize that butches/stone butches do exist?? that stone tops exist??? that lesbians who use he/him pronouns and masculine terms like "husband" or "boyfriend" exist??? and thats perfectly okay??? and also that doesnt mean they are men??? yes its an issue when those things are projected onto people without their consent and say-so, but the keyword there is people. abby and ellie are fictional characters, therefore just about everything about them that isnt canon is up to interpretation. i literally saw a post headcanoning abby as nonbinary (i believe thats what the post said, i forgot) because of the whole "you said ladies first" interaction with manny is seattle day 1. COOL

i think we as sapphics are kindve losing the plot when it comes to gender expression and identity- letting masc sapphics not be boxed into the whole masculine image is great, because no gender expression should feel like a box- but in doing so, some of yall are inadvertently boxing presentation back in lmao. saying things like "shes a woman, so she should be called pretty! if youre calling a woman handsome, youre treating her like a man!" is not all that productive as you may think it is (not only that but it sounds a little terfy, just saying)

why? because psa: no sapphic identifying person can ever have proximity to a cis man (bc thats who you all are referring to when you say that) sapphic masculinity ≠ masculinity performed by cishet men- and that is the reason. our masculinity is not a performance we are pressured to keep up- its a sense of self, it makes us feel comfortable; if anything we are socially pressured outve it

(sidenote where is this sentiment with abby and ellie even coming from???💀 no one ever claimed them to be stone tops, theres just a lot of fics with them topping the reader cs a lotve ppl want to be topped and or dommed by them??? (hashtag relatable??) and sometimes those fics arent all that well written so the character feels flat?? that doesnt mean theyre being “treated like a man”- there are many fics where either of them are subbing or bottoming (tbh i cant rlly speak for ellie fics cs i dont dabble in them much, im an abby girl🤞) on top of that, there are many posts delving into their characters!! into their EMOTIONS (gasp ! i thought people who "treat masc women like men" didnt do that)

sorry for the yapathon but um moral of the story guys!! masculinity isnt owned by cis men, let abby and ellie be headcanoned as handsome boyfriend husbands or something cs its not like they came outve your screen and told you "save me from these FREAKS who keep calling me HANDSOME on tumblr dot com!! i want to be treated like a pretty princess"

.

[kae-eee]

OK so, I wanna hear ur thought abt apple pls-

i have another post like this about her im not looking for rn (edit i found it) but i have so many more

apple is a fucking horse girl

dare i even say brony

she feels a spiritual connection to twilight

she’s also a theatre kid

and she’s apple so ofc she gets lead for every play

including musicals

she cannot fucking sing

she’s just so repressed something about her screams not cis to me

i think the first person she’d come out to is daring

she feels like she owes it to him to let him know

they’re in a qpr

tosses and turns in her sleep

if she ever even does i feel like she works through the night a lot

she feels like she’s failing as a princess if she relaxes

does grwm videos

in denial about liam payne rn

he was her comphet celebrity crush

shes so very interested in anatomy and the insides of everything

she wants to take everything apart

and when she’s alone she does

as a little treat

shes so strange i think if this was a modern au thing she’d wanna be something like a coroner

will start crashing out if you mention chappell throne

she doesn’t like cheese or milk

thinks too hard about where it comes from

honestly she doesn’t want any kids but she’ll have them anyway

has had an unrealized crush on just about all of her girl friends

is NOT ready for a relationship like at all

the second you ship her with someone it becomes doomed bc girly is not stable enough for all that

sometimes i think of her as aromantic and the biggest hopeless romantic at once and has romanticized this idea of true love since she was a little girl

this also gets me thinking about what it she just fucking died during dragon games

because even tho she loves so much and so hard it’s smothering

she’ll never be in love

or what if she fucking died because darling never tried to kiss her

what if her destined true love was a princess charming from a whole other line of charmings

if you can’t tell dappling pisses me off a little bit

not the ship itself but the way it’s usually written

like can we dig deeper into darling? show us her comphet too? bc there isn’t a single person at that school who doesn’t have heteronormativity engrained into them

this is about apple tho so let me stfu

back to dappling i think they’re like childhood friends who grew apart and got even more split from the destiny debate

hell i don’t even think they’re into each other

apples romanticizing darling as her true love

and darling feels obligated to act as such

shes just happy her destiny isn’t to be a damsel tbh

apple is in chronic pain

she doesn’t acknowledge it

doesnt know why

doesnt see a doctor about it even tho she knows they could afford it just fine

her mother knows and also ignores this

because her blonde hair and fucked up eyesight was more than enough flaws for a future snow white

and a future queen

kingdom management stresses her the fuck out

because i really don’t think she’s actually a people person

i actually think she’s very socially anxious naturally

and all those meetings with those powerful people terrify her

has scheduled crying time for when she knows raven isn’t home

will absolutely gaslight raven out of thinking she came in and saw apples eyes all puffy and red

do yall think she’d try weed?

she needs to do SOMETHING to chill out at least

chronic muscle tension

doesnt know there’s a word for why certain spots on her body and hard and cold to the touch

absolutely nothing to do with her chronic pain

trust me

her royal highness needs some royal crutches fr babygirl is struggling

that’s all that comes to mind rn because im in class, but tell me some of yours!

[roblogging]

hii im asking your thoughts on something because i agree w a lot of what you say - i see a lot about the inherent misogyny in the fandom but not as much as the transphobia side of it. could you talk about it a bit?

below the cut for anyone who wants to skip 🫶🏻 (this is really long i'm sorry)

HI OKAY:

first of all, i dislike the use of the word inherent in these discussions - i don't think it applies. a fandom (made up of individual people) cannot be inherently anything in my opinion. and that includes misogynistic. if it were built ON misogyny/transphobia and everything and everyone followed those ideals then yes, we'd use the word. but it wasn't built on those and the presence of such things does not make them inherent. it's an individual basis.

it's a very typical view - one that i've discussed a lot before - that simply engaging with this fandom is transphobic. i (a trans man) have been called transphobic for engaging with jkrs world in non-profitable ways. so, if part of the argument is that it's inherently transphobic to be in the fandom when jkr produced the world, i refute that entirely. her views on many things may bleed into the original works and are the forefront of her "public image" but fandom does its best to alleviate the harm that causes. it's not separating art from artist, it's acknowledging that she's awful and creating a space where people from these harmed communities can still engage with something they love.

that being said,,,, yes. lots of transphobia in the fandom. BUT i think it's worthwhile to note that as a trans person with a platform, of course i see more of it. and though that might make me a better person to talk about it, it does mean i'm obviously subjected to it and see it more. i truly don't know how prevalent it is naturally, it just so happens that i see a lot of it.

not that i'm excusing it. because some of the things that have happened to me are fucking vile. but i think it the vast majority of it comes down to the eroding of fandom etiquette (and the rise of fandom on social media).

i posted a video about peter being friends with the marauders for example, and people disliked it. i got a lot of comments about my appearance because people disagreed with me, and i ended up being posted onto reddit truscum. which, if you aren't aware, essentially means they posted screenshots of me in makeup and debated how trans i am (see also: cis "feminine" sirius discourse). i had a notion page of fic recs that i made and put up because i thought it would be a fun and cute thing to do and i thought people would enjoy it. some disagreed with jegulus being on there and my irls had countless dms demanding to know what my deadname is. i've had to block it from my comment sections. if there are disagreements in my comment sections, slurs are thrown easily. i've been posted onto transmed pages because i posted a video talking about my experience on testosterone and i pointed out some of the negative things, which had led to me "not being actually trans because trans people wouldn't complain" (sorry that i don't particularly like shaving my tits ig. diy top surgery isn't particularly my goal). if i post about a ship people don't like, slurs are thrown.

or, my fav, i got multiple dms telling me that they feel as though trans people are "taking over the fandom" when i hit 10k. like??? god fucking forbid people who enjoyed these books as kids now feel comfortable engaging with them again??? god forbid we've made trans people feel welcome. and no, they aren't taking over. you're just paying too much attention to their identity. i truly don't think about the numbers on my account at all because traction means fucking nothing to me when i just want to yap and meet friends (like obviously, ofc so fucking grateful but it's not my goal or priority) but i fear i didn't get 10k for being trans, i got 10k because i'm generally a nice person who people like.

if i do *anything* that people disagree with, i'm subjected to transphobia.

because fandom etiquette is gone, because i'm confident in my identity, because i don't adhere to traditional masculine gender norms that cis men get praised for subverting, but i must just be a confused woman if i wear makeup, right?

i've definitely had my fair share of just,,, transphobia. like just people who dislike *me*, but 99% of the time it's just that people dislike my ships/hcs and instead of being a normal person and scrolling or engaging in something they enjoy, they know an easy way to get back at me. to get back at me for,,, having fun i guess.

and i could go on for ages about certain discourses, but i've said it all before on my tiktok (see again: sirius in makeup).

i think,,, there's a lot of transphobia in the fandom, from my experience. i think a lot of it stems from the fact that these spaces have become more prevalent on social media which is generally an awful place and horrible to trans people, and people can leave a comment and scroll without connecting the fact that it's an actual person.

but on the flip side, there's less transphobia than there is acceptance. i can post a yap and receive transphobic comments for the things that i've said, and i will delete those comments and watch as other people say that my voice sounds so different. or i can open up comments and see "you look so masc here", or i can reply to dms from people starting their own gender identity and be happy about the fact they thought of me to come to.

again, fandom has become more prevalent on social media. social media relies on traction, hate gets more traction than positivity, boom. we see the hate more.

i'm not gonna sit here and say it doesn't hurt. i'm not gonna sit here and say that there definitely isn't a transphobia problem in this fandom. because there is. but i'm also not gonna say that it's inherent, when every single person that i've connected with on a meaningful level, alongside a good 80% of the interactions i've had generally, has been nothing but overwhelmingly accepting.

the transphobia is there, but i won't be there to listen to it or entertain it. those clearly aren't the people i want in my bubble.